Inverstatue
by Eternal Smasher
Summary: Melee. Have any of you ever wondered...whenever you look in the mirror...is it more than a reflection? I did. And the Inverstatue is the result of my wondering.
1. Just A Big Cry Baby

_I keep meaning to write this, but I keep forgetting. Now's the time..._

_(Note: Mostly Marth and Link starting out...)_

Afternoon. Saturday. The Smashers had no battles to fight this particular Saturday. Master Hand kept getting finger cramps for no reason. Good news, right?

Well, a little.

All of the shows had gone off by this time, so even though they had nothing to do, they had _nothing_ to do. When Peach suggested a little mansion-wide cleaning...not a thrilling something to do, but it was _something_ to do. She said it would only take about half an hour. Not bad. Harmless, right?

Not at all.

The craziness that would follow kept some of them involuntarily occupied trying to make things sane again, before Master Hand felt better. Then there would really be no matches, which meant no money, which meant a pay delay. No one wanted that. And it would be all because of that statue...

This is how it all started.

Cleaning was going fairly well. There were no problems, worries, or troubles. Everything was fine. Then Marth and Link ended up having to clean out one of the main hallway closets. The junk closet. Filled halfway to the ceiling with miscellany. So much so, that it became obvious that it would land directly on them.

"Ow!" said Link from under the junk.

The two popped their heads out.

"She didn't say where to put it," said Marth.

"Damn, why'd Mewtwo have to go and leave? Again?" Link complained. This happened often. Mewtwo was on the verge of getting a 3-month suspension, which, of course, mattered very little to him.

"Might as well just organize these best we can," suggested Marth.

Captain Falcon walked by carrying two medium-sized cardboard boxes.

"Good luck."

8 minutes into the cleaning, one thing remained.

"Hm?" Marth was curious.

"What happened?" asked the approaching Link.

"Doesn't this look kinda weird to you?"

The two swordsmen looked at the odd-looking statuette. It was hard to tell exactly what it resembled, but it looked like a kid holding some sort of mirror.

"Whose is this?" Link said, picking it up. As he did that, he made the grave mistake of looking directly into the mirror. He was entranced for about 7 seconds, and then everything in his vision faded to black. He didn't have the strength to do anything. He couldn't talk, move, or even think. He could barely feel. It was weird, but for just a split-second, he thought his present existence was fading away into nothing.

"Um...Link?" He could hear those last words. Then there was nothing.

"Link, what's wrong with you?" Marth was more interested than scared. It was clear to him that Link was alive, but that statue had done something to his brain. He was just standing there, moaning and slightly drooling.

Marth couldn't take it anymore.

"Link, snap out of it already!"

"No, please don't hurt me!"

The response was sudden; Marth jumped and screamed. Link did the same and backed away a little.

Something was wrong.

"Link, I didn't do anything."

Link's voice was a little whiny.

"But you scared me!" He continued to back away.

Right into the closet.

Everything came crashing down once more, on top of Link. He screamed louder than before, but this time, Marth could tell that there was definitely something wrong.

Link started to cry.

"What are you crying for? You don't cry!"

"I thought I was gonna die!" The crying resumed.

"Great..." Marth picked up the statue without looking at it.

"Link, get up and dry your tears. I can't believe I just said that."

Link wiped his eyes, got up, and sniffled.

"He's become everything he's not. Hmm..." Marth laughed to himself.

"Um, what's so funny?"

Marth continued laughing.

"Hello?"

Marth continued laughing. "I can find out the true personalities of people. I hope no one finds out. Wow. Link really _is _brave. Now he's just a cry-baby."

Link started to cry again.

"I wonder how Zelda truly is..."

That's how it started. Let's see how far it'll go from here.


	2. Just A Total Bitch

_Chapter 2 of the oppositenessness...if it's opposite, wouldn't it be, like, Chapter -2 or something? No. That's crazy talk. It's the best talk I got._

_...Just enjoy Chapter 2._

The two swordsmen - one of which had the mind of a small child - walked around the mansion in search of Princess Zelda. This was 8 minutes after they had the closet cleaned up. And she was pretty hard to find.

But she was found.

Alone.

On the balcony.

Perfect.

"What are you gonna do to her?" asked Link.

Marth gripped the statue tighter.

"Not much. Just a little experiment..."

"Ooh! Ooh! Can I help? Can I, can I, can I, can I, can I?" Link was a bit hyper now. He was even hopping slightly. It was all Marth could do to hold in his laughter. Seriously. He had to stop walking for a few seconds to let it pass.

"I don't need help."

"Okay..." Link looked at the ground, sniffled, whined, and began kicking air.

Until he met Zelda "for the first time".

"You're pretty..." Link was entranced. Zelda was confused. Not about what he said (she got that remark at least 10 times a day; Peach got at least 15), but the fact that he had said it.

Confusion quickly turned to flattery.

"Oh, stop it..." She giggled slightly.

"Forget it, kid. She's way out of your league," Marth whispered to Link.

"She is _not_!" Link shouted back.

"Is too."

"Is not!"

"Is too."

"Is not!"

"Is too."

"Um-"

"Is not, is not, is not!" Link started crying again. Marth started laughing again. Zelda was confused again.

"Link never cries...Marth, what's going on?"

Marth wiped a tear.

"Nothing. Could you hold this, please?" he said, tossing the statue at Zelda. Indeed she caught it.

Indeed she stared directly into the mirror.

No strength.

No feeling.

Nothing.

Marth waved his hand in the motionless Zelda's face.

"Hello...are you different yet..?"

"Get your damn hand outta my face, boy!"

Marth quickly moved his hand.

"Sor-ry..."

Zelda scoffed.

"Don't know who the hell you think _you_ are..." she said to herself.

"Damn. She's a total bitch. It worked!" Marth said to himself.

Zelda walked over to Link.

"Hey, you kinda cute."

"No, don't curse at me, scary lady!" Link started crying again. Zelda sighed.

"Forget you, then."

Marth started laughing again.

"I'd love to know what the hell's so funny," said Zelda.

Marth continued laughing.

"What's Mewtwo like?" he thought.

_Yes...done. Now I continue listening to music._


	3. He Cares!

_More reversals for you..._

Two swordsmen and a princess -well, actually, a swordsman, a kid-man, and a bitch - now traveled through the mansion in search of Mewtwo. It was incredibly unlikely that he'd even be there, seeing as how he liked solitude. But they still walked. And all this walking really took a toll on Link's bladder.

He started dancing.

"Hey!" Zelda yelled to Marth.

"What happened?"

"Your little friend here is doing the pee-pee dance. And it's getting on my ner-"

"I gotta go," Link whined.

"Hold it in," said Marth.

"I can't. I gotta go _now._" Link was still doing the pee-pee dance, making whiny noises.

Marth looked directly at Zelda.

"No. Hell no!"

"Zelda, you should take him to the bathroom."

"What for?"

"I don't know. You're the mother here."

"When the (beep) did this happen?" Zelda fumed. Link started crying.

"I gotta go!"

"Go Zelda."

"I don't want to. Let him piss his pants if he has to."

The two could hear water running.

"Oops..." Link whispered.

"Ew..." said Zelda, walking away.

All Marth could do was laugh. All of this commotion attracted Ganondorf.

"What's he doing now?"

Marth kept laughing.

"What the hell is that smell?"

"I wet myself..." Link still whispered for no clear reason.

"...Okay, this is retarded...What's going on, Marth?"

Marth retained his laughter.

"Don't know. Could you hold this for a second?"

"No." Ganondorf began to walk away.

"Please?"

"No."

"Fine." Marth took one of Link's arrows and threw it in such a way that the back of it connected with the back of Ganondorf's head.

Ganondorf growled, turned around, and glared at him.

Him had been replaced by the statue's mirror.

No strength.

No feeling.

Nothing.

"Any second now..."

Ganondorf suddenly gasped. In a noticeably higher-pitched voice.

"Oh my God, what happened to you?"

Ganondorf rushed over to Link.

"Did you wet yourself?"

Link nodded regretfully.

"Aw. You poor baby."

Ganondorf hugged him. I repeat: Ganondorf _hugged him._

"I'll fix you up good."

Ganondorf picked Link up and carried him upstairs to the bathroom.

I repeat: _Ganondorf _picked _Link _up and _carried him upstairs_ to the _bathroom_.

And Marth had already done his best to _stop_ laughing...

_Yeah. That's weird. And probably a first. What can't get better can only get worse..._

_Ooh. Rhyme._


	4. Just Gay

_When we left off, Ganondorf had taken Link to the bathroom to get him cleaned up. Still weird. Zelda just walked off somewhere. Would anyone discover what was happening before it was too late? Maybe not now...but...just read._

Marth was feeling especially proud of himself. Advanced humor was just what he needed. And having turned Link into a cry-baby, Zelda into a bitch, and Ganondorf into a dad/potential child molester/rapist...

Advanced humor was just what he got.

But it wasn't enough. As he walked the upstairs to the second floor, he had his next target already in place. It would be Mewtwo if he was here, but he had to go with second-best.

Falco.

Apparently, Falco had to use the bathroom, which meant that he wasn't going anywhere for a while. The shock of Ganondorf and Link being in the same room, yet alone the bathroom, settled and morphed into pity.

"That's just pathetic..." he said to himself.

"Yeah. I know," Marth said in an unexpected reply. _"What could be Falco's exact opposite?"_ he thought.

"Link and Ganondorf in the bathroom together...what could they be doing?" Falco shuddered a little.

Now.

"You could use this to peek in there," said Marth, showing him the statuette. Falco took a quick glance.

"Yeah...if they're not doing anything important...whatever important is...they need to get out. Gimme that thing." Falco snatched the statue and slowly opened the door. Just a crack.

Marth was anxious and giddy.

Falco slowly put the statue halfway through the door and looked at the mirror.

No strength.

No feeling.

Nothing.

Marth waved his hand in front of Falco's beak (and took back the statue in the meantime).

"Wake up, little birdie..."

"Oh my God. Oh...my God!"

His pitch had risen considerably. And he had developed a lisp. Goodness...

"That outfit is fabulous! Just fab-u-lous! Did you pick this out yourself?"

"Yes..." Marth had to bite his lips to stop laughing.

"Well, I have to say, you have an impeccable taste in fashion. And- Jesus! What am I doing wearing these rags?" Falco observed his attire. "I need a tighter fit than this...oh, well. Anyway, Mr. Blue Man, are you...involved?"

All humor died. Instantly.

"You're a bird."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm not."

"So?"

"It won't work."

"It'll be like Beauty and the Beast." Falco then, in the most seductive (and scariest, for Marth) voice an anthropomorphic bird can produce, said this:

"Roar."

Marth was semi-petrified. But he had an idea.

"There's someone in the bathroom that's bound to be interested."

"Really-"

"He's wearing green. You can't miss him." Marth pushed Falco into the bathroom and quickly ran downstairs. Danger averted. For now.

But he had to hear them.

"Ooh! Can I join?" Falco.

"Are you here to help me? He's putting his hands in funny places..." Link.

"Don't worry. I'm almost done." Ganondorf.

"Eww! What is that? It's so wrinkly and brown...put that back..." Link.

"Oh, yes! This'll be fun..." Falco.

Okay, that's enough, thought Marth. He continued running downstairs and to the back. He stopped and caught his breath.

Only to lose it again from laughing so much.

_Don't hate me too much for this..._


	5. Just An Affair

_Time to reverse someone else... (Note: This'll be a little short.)_

At this point, Marth was starting to have second thoughts about everything. A bird had almost molested him. That fear didn't disappear. Why couldn't it have been a girl, he thought.

Hmm…a girl…

"That's not a bad idea…"

Marth got up off the couch, and the search for Peach began. Marth figured this: if Peach was normally all prim and proper, the exact opposite would be sluttish. Also, since Peach generally disliked Marth, she would soon be all over him. A brilliant deduction.

But how would Mario handle that? Truthfully, Marth didn't care. It would be more than worth it.

"This is definitely my best idea…"

"What's your best idea?"

Marth stopped instantly.

"No…"

Yes. It was Link.

"Why are you here?"

"Why are _you_ here?"

Marth unsheathed his sword. Link stepped back.

"What are you gonna do with-"

Bam!

Link was out cold. Marth sheathed his sword and put Link in the courtyard.

"Now I just need to find-"

"Hey, hot stuff."

"…"

Bam!

Falco was out cold and placed in the courtyard.

Marth sighed. "Now I can-"

"Oh, those poor bab-"

Bam!

Ganondorf was out cold and...well, you know.

"Damn. Okay, _now_ I can go find Peach."

Marth triumphantly marched back inside and unexpectedly ran directly into Peach.

"…Hi."

"Hello, Marth." Peach walked around him.

"Wait."

Peach sighed and turned around.

"What is it, Marth?"

"Tell me the truth. Do you like me?"

"I don't _hate_ you."

"…Huh. Well, I-"

"What's that?" Peach pointed to the statue.

"It's a mirror."

"Ooh!" Peach quickly ran over to straighten herself out in the mirror.

No strength.

No feeling.

Nothing.

"I can't wait. When she comes to, she'll be mine…"

"Hey, Marth! What's-a going on?"

"_Oh, shit,_" Marth thought.

Peach regained consciousness. The very first thing that she did was hug Marth. Tightly.

"_Sweet_."

Peach started to kiss Marth, but an angry Italian promptly strangled him. Zelda observed this for a while.

Then she broke out in laughter. "What a dumbass!"

_To be continued…obviously._


	6. Just A Total Badass

_Hello. Here's my promised update/cliffhanger ender. But first, the responses:_

KSFLZSCASTKRMPGZVTADEKVG- _Oppisitized…I like that word. _

Lacto3.1415- _Well here's the next chapter for (insert "you" in French here)._

Final Authority- _…Good point. Ah, they'll probably wake up before that happens. Probably._

vicviper-pilot-S213- _Thank you very much. You've made me much happier. And I promise that the insanity shall go on…_

GerudoPrincess- _Yes, I did. And stop being anxious…right after the last response._

AkatsukiAddict- _Thanks. That was the plan._

_On with the story!_

When we left Marth, Peach, Mario, and Zelda, Mario was choking Marth, Peach was trying to break it up, and Zelda took Marth's role of laughing at others' expenses.

Not much had changed since then.

But Peach had enough. She took out her golf club.

"You leave my darling alone!"

Mario loosened his grip.

"Darli-"

Whack!

Mario went flying into a wall. And Zelda still laughed.

"I don't understand," Mario said, a little dizzy. He shook his head and rose. "Why did-a you hit-a me, Peach?"

"You're trying to hurt my baby!" She hugged Marth again, who was on the floor coughing.

"How did-a this happen?"

"I've always loved Marth. From the first day I met him."

Mario gave Marth a sad and confused (but more confused) look. Marth stuck his tongue out at Mario.

"I never knew…"

"Trust me, neither did I. But I'm not complaining." Marth proceeded to make out with Peach. Mario looked on in shock and horror. And Zelda was in hysterics.

Marth and Peach made out for about 4 minutes. Mario was totally speechless. A single tear came out of his eye.

"I'm sorry…but I love him."

"Yeah. Don't act like you never wanted to be with someone else."

"Someone…else?" Honestly, Mario had never planned this. He had no Plan B.

"Sure. I mean, you don't look that bad. You could get any girl."

"_Any girl that's not pretty."_

"Look at yourself." Marth tossed the mirror at Mario, trying not to laugh. "You look like hell. Fix your face and move o-" They started making out again. Mario looked into the mirror.

No strength.

No feeling.

No caring by Marth at the moment.

Nothing.

Eventually, Mario regained consciousness.

"Well, it's about time! Stupid bitch."

Marth and Peach said nothing (except for some pleasurable moans).

"No one cares about your ass anyway."

Marth stopped.

"I'm glad you understand." Marth continued.

Zelda walked over to Mario.

"It's about time someone said it," she said.

"I know, right? She's a (beep) idiot. Who gets captured that many times? Who? A (beep) idiot, that's who!"

"You…are so (beep) hot."

"Thanks…I know…" Mario looked at the ground, the angle rendering his eyes covered by the front of his cap. It was relevant.

"Come here."

"That's what I'm talkin' about." Mario and Zelda began making out on the floor (except theirs was more…extreme). Basically, there was a make out fest in the living room.

And Samus walked in on it.

She stared at Marth and Peach, then Mario and Zelda, then back again. 7 times.

"That's weird. First those guys out back, now this…"

_"Damn,"_ Marth thought, _"this is really hard to maintain. But I'm happy!"_

_Yeah…see ya._


	7. Just Playing!

_Yep. Chapter 7. Let's go._

"Marth, what is going on?"

Samus was confused about the little make out fest she was witnessing.

_"Great. Now I have to stop,"_ Marth thought. He broke the kiss between Peach and him.

"Hold on a sec. What does it look like?"

"Making out. With the wrong…people," Samus answered.

"Yep."

Mario and Zelda were in their own little make out world.

"…Uh-huh. What is that?" Samus pointed to the small statue on the couch beside Marth.

"Statue," Marth answered with a smile.

"Could that be why those guys are knocked out in the courtyard?"

"No, I did that."

"…Why?"

"They…uh…well, it's a little hard to explain…"

"I bet it is. Well, you better hope they wake up soon before the boss gets here."

_Shit! I totally forgot about him! This isn't good. If I get caught…_

"What'll they do to me?"

"What?"

"Oh…did I say that out loud?"

"What does it look like?" Samus smirked. Marth chuckled nervously.

"Yeah…"

Then Peach made the grave mistake of speaking.

"Who are you?" she asked.

Samus looked at her in shock.

"All this making out is melting your brain," she said with a chuckle.

Marth quickly covered Peach's mouth.

"Yeah, she's better off _not talking_, you know? Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you put this up? Thanks a lot," Marth said rather quickly, tossing the statue at Samus and continuing to make out with Peach.

Samus caught the statue without looking at the mirror.

"Sure, whatever," she said, walking away.

"Mmm" was all she heard Marth say. She twisted the statue every which way as she walked to the kitchen, wondering why Peach didn't remember her. They were sort of friends. Samus knew Peach through Zelda, but to totally forget…that…did…

Samus's thoughts had faded when she turned the mirror towards her eyes. Her walking had slowed until she totally stopped.

No strength.

No feeling.

Nothing.

In the living room, Marth heard a thud down the hall. He ignored it.

7 seconds later, he heard approaching footsteps. He ignored it.

5 seconds afterwards, he was tackled off the couch, hard, by Samus, who was laughing. He wanted to ignore that, but the slight headache kept reminding him.

"Ha! I got you!"

Samus was sitting on top of Marth, laughing. Marth groaned.

"Why did you get me? Ow…"

"It's Tackle Tag! Aren't you playing?"

"..."

Marth tried to push Samus off (with Peach's help) but she wouldn't budge.

"No, I'm not."

"Get off of him!" exclaimed Peach.

"Okay, fine." Samus got up and looked over at Mario and Zelda, _still_ making out. She ran over, picked Zelda up by her arm, and tackled her.

"Bitch, what the hell is wrong with you?" Zelda said, straining words. Samus was lying on top of Zelda.

"It's a game I made! Tackle Tag! Wanna play?"

"No…and get your titties outta my face!"

"Sorry." Samus quickly got up. "There's gotta be someone that wants to play…" She ran upstairs to look for more victims- um, participants.

"Come on, babe. She's got the right idea," said Mario.

Zelda thought about that for a few seconds.

"Oh…"

Mario took Zelda's hand and ran upstairs to his room. Marth looked at them from the floor.

"That took forever…"

"Sweetie, are you okay? Can you stand?" asked Peach.

"Not yet…"

"Then I'll just have to come down."

Peach got on top of Marth and the making out commenced. Again. Sheesh…

In the hallway, Marth could hear Yoshi humming.

"Hey, who left this mirror here?" Yoshi said. Within 10 seconds, a thud was heard.

_"Wow,"_ Marth thought, _"I didn't even try that time."_

_That be all. See ya._


	8. Just Depressed

_Chapter…8! Yeah. I almost forgot…_

By now, we all know that Marth and Peach have been making out for the past two chapters. Including this one, cause they weren't done yet. Even though the considerably loud moans from upstairs disturbed Marth (who was still floored), it continued.

Then Yoshi came in the room. He sighed heavily.

Marth and Peach continued. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed something very strange about Yoshi.

He seemed incredibly sad.

"Hold on," Marth said, moving Peach's head back slightly. "What's wrong with you?"

"You seem so sad," Peach added.

Yoshi shook his head, looking at the floor.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. But nothing's right either."

"…Okay…something definitely happened," Marth said, finally getting up. He walked over to Yoshi and patted him on the head. "Did someone beat you?"

"No," Yoshi said, sounding bored.

"Somebody steal something from you?"

"Not that I know of."

"Do you need a hug?" asked Peach.

"No thanks. I'm just gonna go to my room and…think about why I exist. Maybe see what happens if I end that." Yoshi slowly walked upstairs while Marth and Peach tried to figure out what he meant.

Marth eventually gave up.

"Ah, well. Now where we- holy crap, he's gonna kill himself. Um…" Marth quickly stood up. "I'm sorry to do this, but…I gotta stop him. I can't let Master Hand see one of his workers dead."

"…What?"

Marth sighed annoyedly, grabbed Peach's crown off of her head, and knocked her out with it. It looked like she was sleeping on the couch. Genius. About 20 seconds after Marth was done being proud of himself, he ran upstairs to try his hardest to cheer up Yoshi enough so he wouldn't commit suicide. But since he wasn't paying attention, he didn't notice Yoshi falling down the stairs and crashing into him.

At the bottom of the stairs, Yoshi was on top of Marth, and Samus was on top of Yoshi.

"Sandwich!" she declared.

Marth groaned. "Ouch…"

"It's good to see that _you're_ having fun," said Yoshi.

Samus laughed.

"You're the lettuce, cause you're green!" she said.

"So what is this, a vegetarian sandwich?" Marth said, straining words.

Samus giggled.

"Can you GET OFF!" Marth said as loud as possible (which wasn't very loud). Samus got off of Yoshi, and he got off of Marth, and Marth got off of…the floor. Yeah.

"Yoshi! Why are you so sad?" asked Marth.

"Too many reasons, the most recent being that I was tackled by a mature_-looking_ woman a minute ago."

Samus smiled.

"But the main reason is…well, I guess I've always been depressed for as long as I can remember. Maybe I was born with it."

"Or maybe…" Marth snapped his fingers. "You need ice cream. C'mon." Marth grabbed Yoshi's hand and dragged him to the kitchen. Yoshi didn't bother resisting.

"I have nothing better to do. As usual," he said.

When they reached the kitchen, Marth hurriedly open the freezer. There was no ice cream left.

"Shit…" He walked over to the statue and picked it up, then went back to the freezer. "I broke up with Peach for no reason…"

"Can I go do nothing now?" asked Yoshi.

"I got something for you to do. Stand right there." Marth pointed to the right side of the fridge. Yoshi complied.

"Stick your head out a little."

Yoshi complied.

"You thirsty?" Marth grabbed the handle.

"A little…like it matt-"

Bam!

Yoshi was out like a light.

_Idiot…depressed idiot…_

Marth grabbed Yoshi by his feet and began dragging him to the front of the couch, in front of Peach. (Yoshi naps on the floor from time to time, so this wasn't unusual.) Shortly after that, he heard the back door opening.

_Now who is it? _Marth put the statue under the couch where the person wouldn't see it.

Link walked in.

"Hey," he said.

"What's going on?" Marth said casually.

"What happened?" Link rubbed his head. "The last thing I remember, I looked at that statue's mirror. How did I get to the courtyard?"

_Damn. What do I say? Wait. That's how you make them normal again! _

"It's fun _and _useful!"

"What?" asked Link.

"Oh…just…never mind, okay?"

"Why are the other two out there?"

_Uh…_

Marth brilliantly shrugged.

"Yeah, my head hurts too much to think about it. I'm going to take a little rest."

Marth nodded, and after Link started going upstairs, Marth sighed.

"That was close…no, wait…"

Marth ran after Link.

"No! Don't do it!"

"Do what? Sleep?"

The two heard moaning coming from Mario's room. Link stared at Marth.

"Um…"

"Why now? Why?" Link ran to Mario's room with Marth following close behind. He kicked the door open, and there was Zelda and Mario under Mario's covers, and Samus sitting on a chair in the corner.

"They said I need to wait," she said, then whispered, "What do you think they're doing under there?"

"Hey…if it's any consolation, I made out with _his_ girlfriend."

Link glared at Marth, saying nothing.

"Just saying."

_Done. Gotta wait for the continuation. Sorry._


	9. The Deal

_All right. Time to get the 9th chapter up and going. I'm sure you wanna see what's gonna happen to Marth. So do I._

No one was having a good time. Link had yanked the cover off of Mario's bed and tried to beat him senseless. Marth was holding back Link, trying to think of a way to explain without switching his target. Zelda was just a bystander and a victim. And Samus…was laughing. For the entire 5 minutes it took for Link to calm down.

"You're (beep) crazy, man!" Mario said, staying away from Link. He had a sword. Mario knew better.

"Zelda…why?" Link said, sadness kicking in.

Zelda was very confused.

"It's nice that you would kill for me…but…don't you think I should get to know you first?"

Half of Link's heart melted.

"GET TO KNOW ME?" Link yelled, his voice breaking. Marth quickly pulled him to the side.

"Listen, you need to calm down. Trust me, in a few minutes, they're not going to remember a thing," Marth whispered.

Link's sadness faded temporarily and was replaced by suspicion.

"Are you a hypnotist or something?" he asked.

Marth looked down at the statue with regret. Then he chuckled. And got punched in the mouth.

"Change them. Now," demanded Link.

Marth rubbed his jaw.

"Well…you took that surprisingly well…okay. The only way to reverse the effect is to-"

Kissing noises and laughing interrupted him.

"CUT IT OUT!" Marth and Link yelled.

"Damn! Sorry…" Zelda said.

"Now, as I was saying…the only way to reverse the effect is to render the victim unconscious. Like I did with you!" Marth said before getting punched in the mouth again.

"Stop sounding so happy!" Link said.

"If you went through what I did with Peach for the previous 2 chapters, you couldn't help but be happy either," Marth replied.

"…That didn't sound too right…you and Peach?" Link asked.

"Yeah…Yoshi turned into a total killjoy."

"Wow, I can actually imagine that…"

"I saw them breathing each other's air and touching tongues," Samus added.

Link and Marth said nothing. Then the kissing noises returned, and a pissed Link knocked Mario out with his boomerang.

"Yeah, Samus, that's great…" Marth said empathetically.

"I wanna try it!" Samus exclaimed.

Marth and Link looked at each other, then at Samus, then at Zelda (who was trying to wake Mario), then at Samus, then at each other, then at Zelda. Then at Samus.

And then at each other. They nodded.

"Try it with her," Link said.

"Okay!" Samus cheered.

"Nice…" Marth said to himself. Samus ran over to Zelda and tackled her on the floor. Again. Zelda was floored.

"Hey! Didn't we go through this alrea-"

Their lips locked. Zelda tried to struggle out of it, but she was pinned. It was no use. Pretty soon, Zelda had slipped into it. Marth and Link just watched.

_This is pretty cool…_

Within 30 seconds, the kiss had ended, and the two gazed into each other's eyes, smiling.

"That was fun…" Samus said.

"Yes…it was…" Zelda responded.

"I could do that all day!" Samus exclaimed.

"This is perfect…" Marth whispered to Link.

"Yeah. Now's my chance," Link whispered, tip-toeing over to the girls.

"Hey! What are you doing? Don't hog both of-oh, man, that's not cool…" Marth whispered loudly.

"I wonder how long I can hold my breath this time? I'm going for a whole minute!" Samus said.

"Me too," Zelda said. "Me t-"

Bong!

Both Zelda and Samus were out cold. Marth stared at Link, lack-jawed and bug-eyed.

"That actually worked. We were able to get them both together so we could knock them out at the same time," Link said, putting his shield back.

Marth still stared.

"Good idea, man," Link complimented.

"…You…wanted them…together…to…bring them back to…normal?" a confused Marth said.

"Yeah. What did you think?" Link asked, chuckling.

Marth sighed.

"At least I have the memory…" Marth said sadly.

"So what do we do now?" asked Link.

Marth returned to reality after a couple of snaps from Link.

"We gotta get these people in their beds. And…uh…well, I was just going to see some more opposites. You have a problem with that?" Marth said.

Link thought for a moment.

"Pay me."

"How much?"

"15 Smash Coins. And I keep this little exploration of yours a secret. Deal?" Link held his hand, and Marth, un-hesitant, shook it.

"It's only for a few more hours, or until Mewtwo comes back. You move the people, okay?" Marth said quickly.

"Yeah, yeah…" Link said, trying to pick up Mario.

"Okay." Marth rushed out of the room and looked over the balcony to see who else was in the living room. Mr. Game & Watch was watching TV.

"…Oh, fine." Marth said, disappointed.

…_I got nothing to say._


	10. Just A Jerk

_Hmm. Mr. Game & Watch's opposite. Trust me, this'll be something to see…I guess…_

Marth tiptoed down the steps, trying not to disturb Mr. Game & Watch too much. He wondered: what could Mr. Game & Watch's opposite possibly be? Does he even have a personality to be reversed? Can he even see? Why-

His wondering was killed by a shrill buzz.

"Damn, that thing's loud…" Marth said to himself as he quickly sat next to the flat figure. Mr. Game & Watch looked at Marth, who was smiling, and then focused attention on the TV.

"_Hey, wait,_" Marth thought. "_If I'm sitting here, then Peach…where did-_"

His thoughts were killed by a series of beeps.

"Why are you getting so excited over Sesame Street? I mean, really."

His response: "Buzz buzz beep!"

"…Yeah, sure…" Marth sighed. Mr. Game & Watch noticed the weird-looking statue that he was holding.

"Beep beep buzz?" he asked, pointing to the statue. Marth looked down at it.

"Oh, you want to see?" He tossed it lightly at him. He caught it and stared at it. Then dropped it.

No strength.

No feeling.

Nothing.

_Now, what is this thing's opposite?_

Mr. Game & Watch came to. He stood up, grabbed the statue, and quickly threw it at Marth's head. He caught it, of course.

"What is your-hey, wait." Marth noticed something about him, other than his newfound meanness.

When he moved, he made absolutely no noise. Also, he was given another dimension, though he was still black all over.

"This is just freaky…"

Mr. Game & Watch observed himself and his new form. It felt good to be able to move fluidly. And to have fingers.

Suddenly, Peach walked into the room, sipping something.

"Oh? What happened to him?" she asked.

"I honestly don't know," Marth responded, shaking his head. Mr. Game & Watch rushed over to Peach and grabbed her breasts. She gasped and kicked him into the TV, which emitted several sparks.

"What is your problem? You know only Mario's allowed to do that!" Peach exclaimed, blushing slightly.

Marth just stared.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Don't worry about it."

"Well, I'm off for a walk! Bye!" Peach set her cup down on a coffee table and left. He observed the twitching Mr. Game & Watch, and whatever worry might have overtaken him was removed as soon as he remembered that he didn't really like him.

But he couldn't just leave him there.

"This guy's a jerk…"

Marth grabbed Mr. Game & Watch by his foot. He was still very light. So it was easy to keep him suspended while he slapped him in the face repeatedly.

"Hey! Snap out of it!" Marth yelled as he slapped. Eventually, Mr. Game & Watch slapped Marth back. As a result, he was dropped on his head.

"Glad that's over…"

Suddenly, Marth heard someone talking upstairs.

"What the hell? Zelda and Samus were _making out_? And I missed it? Damn!"

"Great…" Marth sighed. He (and Mr. Game & Watch, for some reason) ran upstairs to Mario's room. There they saw Bowser, punching the wall in frustration.

_We had a deal!_

"I told him to move the people!"

"What the hell are you talkin' about? Just shut up!" Bowser yelled, then resumed punching the wall. Link ran back in the room, panting. He laughed nervously.

"Bathroom," he said.

Marth groaned in frustration. "Bowser, can you do us a favor?"

"No!"

"Why am I not surprised? Okay, I'll pay you 5 Smash Coins if you can do me a favor. It's not like you ever won that much fighting anyway…"

Bowser growled quietly. "What?"

"Take these two to their own rooms and put them in their beds."

Bowser walked over to Zelda and Samus and picked them both up with each arm easily.

"In _Mario's _room? This is ridiculous," he grumbled as he left the room with Marth, Link, and Mr. Game & Watch.

4 minutes later

"Okay. Pay up," Bowser demanded.

The 4 were in Zelda's heavily decorated (and scented) room.

"Sure thing. Hold this. I'll be back with your Coins." Marth left the room. Bowser observed the statue.

"This thing looks like crap. Who would keep…this...?"

No strength.

No feeling.

Nothing.

"Did he look at it yet?" Marth asked, peeking in from the side of the door. Link nodded, as did Mr. Game & Watch.

"Why is he here?" asked Link.

"I honestly don't know…" Marth answered.

_Well…yeah. So…yep. Bye._


	11. Just Decorating

_Hey everyone…my birthday's Thursday, so if I update something and I seem a little…excited, you know why._

_Anyway, on to the story._

Marth, Link, and Mr. Game & Watch watched eagerly as Bowser's opposite was about to be revealed. Was Bowser truly the mean, temperamental, strong, mutated turtle everyone had come to know and hate?

"This room…is GORGEOUS!"

That response answered the question: hell yeah.

"Oh my God…" Marth said, chuckling.

"_Who_ decorated this?"

No one dared say anything. Bowser sniffled.

"Answer me…" he whined.

"Zelda…" Link hesitantly said. Bowser rushed over to him, smiling widely and creepily.

"Zelda? Who's that? I have _got_ to meet her!"

Link actually gulped.

"She's asleep…" he responded nervously.

"Aww…" Bowser said, slumping.

"Hey, I've got an idea…" Marth said, sniggering.

5 minutes later

The four were now in C. Falcon's high-tech room. Falcon was nowhere in sight as they looked around. Bowser was cradling some paint cans (all light shades of mostly red), lightly colored linen, and some glitter, also light and bright.

"So, why are we doing this room?" Bowser asked.

"Why are we doing this _period_?" Link asked.

"It's just a little payback…" Marth said with a sigh.

"For what?" asked Link. Bowser had already begun the makeover.

"2 weeks ago, Falcon put something girly-smelling in my hair gel. He also put hearts and glitter on my tiara."

Link said nothing for several seconds, then laughed suddenly.

"It's not funny…" Marth growled.

Bowser continued to paint and decorate, la-la-la'ing as he did so. He painted over some kind of futuristic device and it emitted electricity and exploded.

"Oops…" Bowser said, giggling.

"No…" Marth and Link said, shaking their heads (as did Mr. Game & Watch).

After about 10 minutes of decorating and beautifying, Bowser was done. He stepped back to admire his masterpiece. Which smelled great, by the way.

"So…much…pink…it's perfect," Marth said, grinning.

"Falcon is going to-" Link was interrupted.

"Adore me when he sees what I've done!" Bowser said joyously, giving Marth a big hug.

"Thanks…" Marth said, oxygen rejecting him.

"WHAT THE (beep)?"

Falcon was back. And as confused and pissed off as ever.

"Ya like?" Bowser said cheerfully. "I think it's genius…"

"What the hell did you DO TO MY ROOM?" Falcon yelled. Marth smirked.

"NO! My emblem cleaner…" Falcon picked up the pieces of a previously exploded device. He slowly turned towards Bowser, scowling.

"Need more glitter, huh?"

Falcon growled softly.

"You're _dead_."

Marth and Link quickly held Falcon back from Bowser, whom he was about to beat the living crap out of.

"Let me go! He's dead!"

"It's too one-sided! I can't let you!" Marth pleaded. A second later, he let go, and tripped Falcon as he tried to run by.

"I'm defending Bowser…I don't know who I am anymore…"

Falcon realized something and jumped up.

"_Bowser_ did this?"

No one spoke, but Bowser giggled nervously. "Sorry."

Falcon glared at Marth, as if he knew he knew what the hell was going on.

"What the hell is going on? Hey. Hey! What's with Mr. Game & Watch? I don't get it…"

Mr. Game & Watch shrugged.

"Ah, he's better reversed," Marth said.

"Reversed...? What?" Falcon sighed.

"You wanna see what's going on?" Marth asked.

"That'd be nice."

"Look at the mirror."

Falcon indeed looked at the mirror, looking for answers, but gaining absolutely nothing.

"Hmm…what's Falcon's opposite?" Marth wondered as Falcon fell to the ground, on his knees.

Bowser just looked on, wondering what possessed this man to wear those horrid colors.

_This will be updated in a week. See ya then._


	12. Just Weak

_More opposites. Yay…_

Marth, Link, and the three-dimensional Mr. Game & Watch now waited for Captain Falcon to reveal his opposite self. Bowser, still adoring his creation, paid no attention.

"Falcon? You still there?" Marth asked. Falcon abruptly rose.

"Cool! A sword! Lemme see!"

Marth blinked, unsheathed his sword, and handed it to Falcon slowly. Falcon swiped it, but as he tried to hold it up, it knocked him to the floor.

"Ow! It's so heavy…"

"No it isn't…" Marth said, lifting Falchion with one finger. Falcon stared at him for a bit, then pounded the ground in frustration. He yelped and rubbed his knuckles.

"I'm so weak…I SUCK!"

"Got that right," Marth said while Link and Mr. Game & Watch clapped in the background.

Falcon wailed loudly. Everyone in the room covered their ears.

"It's so loud!" Bowser cried.

"No! Seriously?" Link yelled.

"You want some candy? Will that make you feel better?" Marth shouted.

"Ok," Falcon and Bowser said in unison with big smiles on their faces.

"Good!" Marth clasped his hands. "Let's go get some candy."

Bowser and Falcon cheered and followed Marth. Link and Mr. Game & Watch followed soon after.

10 minutes later, they ended up in Kirby's room. Marth desperately scoured the closet for any trace of candy, because Kirby liked candy. Eventually, he found some jelly beans and 7 unnamed chocolate bars, all in good condition. He threw them at Bowser and Falcon, both of whom caught them and started devouring.

"Damn, Falcon sucks normally and oppositely…" Marth said.

"Problem," said Link, also eating a chocolate bar.

"What?"

"How do you plan on knocking out Bowser? His head is ridiculously hard."

Marth glanced at Bowser, who was eating happily.

"Hmm…maybe there's an alternative to this refreshing, unnecessary violence."

"How about 'oppositing' the opposite?"

"I got an idea. I can have the opposites become opposites of themselves!"

Link just looked at Marth with apathy.

"Well, you could knock out Falcon just for the hell of it. But Bowser gets the special treatment," Marth continued.

Link finished his chocolate bar.

"Aren't you the least bit curious as to why that thing is here?" Link asked, pointing at the statue.

"Hey, this is the most fun I've had in a long time. And you should never question fun. I love this thing…"

"Hey Blue Hair! We're finished!" Falcon called out.

"Okay. Put all of your garbage in the closet and come over here," said Marth.

Bowser and Falcon did as they were told.

"So, what can I makeover next? Because this room…" Bowser scoffed.

"No, not right now," Marth said, motioning for Link to get behind Falcon. "Um…you. Look at this and tell me what you see." Marth held out the statue for Bowser to look at. He looked into the mirror and fainted. Link proceeded to knock out Falcon with his shield. He gave Marth a five.

"Okay Link, you get Falcon to his room. I'll see you in a little while."

Link grabbed Falcon's wrists and dragged him to his room. Marth waited until Bowser woke up. When he did, which was .7 seconds after Link left, he slowly rose.

"How the hell did I get in here?" Bowser groaned. "I gotta stop drinking…ah, screw it." Bowser walked off, scratching his tail. Marth sighed.

"Well…" Marth stood. "Where the hell is Mewtwo?" He walked out of the room and bumped into a short little pink ball named Kirby. Actually, he more like tripped over him, but you get the picture.

"What were you doing in my room?" Kirby asked, tilting his head. Well, it was more like his body, but you get the picture, damn it.

_Maybe I can actually reach 5 reviews by next week…_


	13. Just Mean

_My review count reached 100! Yay! Thanks to all who helped, you know who you are. Now read._

Marth now waited on Kirby's small bed for Kirby to stop looking through his closet. For some reason Marth didn't care about, Kirby was mad. He angrily pulled out some candy wrappers.

"_Now_ I have to wait until I get paid again to get more candy!"

Marth said nothing.

"What's your problem?"

Marth still said nothing.

Kirby walked up to Marth and slapped him.

Marth _still_ said nothing.

"Get out. Now."

"Wait." Marth rose. "There's something I want you to see first."

Kirby sighed. "What? What could be so important that you have to stay in…"

No strength.

No feeling.

You get it by now.

_Let's see how this little pink thing really is…_

"Hello..?" Marth wanted to see this. Badly.

"What the (beep) are you lookin' at?" Kirby said, eyeing Marth up and down.

"You," Marth responded with a smirk.

"You got a problem, fool? Huh, bitch?"

Marth snickered.

"Oh, that's it. You think it's funny, mother(beep)?"

Marth started laughing. "Duh!"

Kirby jumped at Marth's head, but since Marth bent backwards, Kirby crashed into the wall face-first. Marth continued laughing. Kirby pried himself out of the wall and growled.

"Stop laughing at me, you asshole!"

"Why don't you make me?" Marth said, making a face. Kirby ran towards Marth's right foot, but he got stepped on. And then kicked back into the same spot on the wall.

"You suck," Marth said, still finding this hilarious.

Kirby re-pried himself from the wall and growled again.

"Where's my gat?"

"Oh, you can't be serious," Marth said, chuckling.

"Stop (beep) laughing at me!"

"You're so cute when you're pissed."

Kirby growled again, with a higher pitch. He started to cry.

"Shut up! Just SHUT UP!"

Kirby ran away in a fit of sad anger. Marth stared at him as he kicked Mr. Game & Watch in the knee before running off. The 3-D figure rolled on his back, holding his knee and screaming in pain. Well, he looked like he was screaming, but since there was no sound, Marth left him there in his silent misery.

_Where the hell did he go?_

"Ow! Hey, don't pull those!"

_Yeah, that's Bowser._

Marth jetted downstairs to the living room, where the sound was coming from. Bowser was watching television as Kirby was trying to yank Bowser's horns out of his skull.

"OW! Damn, that hurts!"

"This is what happens when you look at me funny. HAVE WE LEARNED OUR (beep) LESSON?"

"YES! GOD! GET OFF!"

Bowser grabbed Kirby and threw him into the new television. (It breaking was nothing special. They had a whole stockpile of TV's.) It exploded upon impact, and Kirby was shocked silly. Marth grimaced.

"He started it," said Bowser, walking away.

Kirby twitched. At least he was alive. And with that knowledge, Marth decided to find somebody else. Like DK.

_Well…a week. Bye._


	14. Just Smart

_Forgive me for the delay._

Marth sat on the couch, that wonderful couch which shared so many great memories. He had to wait until DK's match was over. And for some strange reason, it seemed like everyone had vanished (though in reality, they were all hiding). But Marth was on a mission. A pointless, selfish mission. To discover Mewtwo's opposite. But since that was temporarily delayed…

"What the hell is taking him so long?"

He just sat there, thinking about Peach and what could've been. Yeah. Whatever.

10 minutes later, he laid there, thinking the same.

10 _more _minutes later, he took a nap and dreamt about the same.

(insert same number of minutes later here), DK returned. Thank goodness slamming doors was a bad habit of his.

"Hey, uh…"

"Marth."

"Marth. Riiiiight! What's up?"

DK approached the now sitting up swordsman and attempted to give him a five. But since his fives hurt like hell, Marth declined.

"What are you holding there?" DK asked, pointing to that statue we all know and love.

"Something I found."

"And where is everybody?"

"You wanna see?"

"Later." DK's stomach growled deeply and for about 5 seconds. "I'm so damn hungry…"

And with that, DK went into the kitchen to get some food. He returned almost an hour later.

"Yo!" DK yelled, trying to wake Marth up. Unfortunately for Marth, he succeeded.

"Why'd you wake me up? I was having a dream sequel. I love those things…"

By that time, some Smashers began wandering around the mansion again. Ganondorf and Luigi were watching a new TV.

"Can I see that thing now?" DK asked.

"Oh. Yeah. Here." Marth lightly threw the statue at the simian, and though it hit him in the head, he still caught it. He still looked into that damn mirror.

No strength.

Blah, blah, blah.

DK spaced out and drooled.

"Seems pretty normal so far."

When DK came to, he looked at Marth, then Luigi, then Ganondorf, then Luigi, then Ganondorf, then Marth. Then Luigi. Then his leg.

"Ignorant masses."

And with that phrase, DK smashed the television with his mighty arm.

"Aw, man. This asshole…" Ganondorf walked away, grumbling.

"DK! You only do that on holidays!" Luigi yelled half-heartedly, feeling deja-vu.

"You people…"

DK…was wearing glasses. Dude.

"You all need to read some books! Your brain capacities are deplorable, and that dreaded electronic _box_ is to blame!"

Luigi was now a mixture of scared and astonished.

"My brain is just fine. Where'd this intelligent anger come from, anyway?"

"I've always possessed great knowledge, ever since I read my first book…Techniques for Calculus…"

"Oh my God…" Marth said, chuckling.

"Whatever is so funny that you must use that biological reaction to something humorous?"

"Why can't you just ask what I'm laughing at?" Marth said, still chuckling.

"Tell me."

"You look like a dork."

"I assure you, though my brain power dwarfs yours, I am in no way, shape, or form, a dork."

"So you're a geek?"

"Ooooh…" Luigi instigated.

"No," DK said, getting pissed off.

"…A nerd? Make up your mind!"

DK exhaled sharply. "_No._ I'm just intelligent. Get it?"

Marth scoffed.

"If you're a dweeb, you don't have to be angry for no-"

And with that incomplete phrase, DK chucked the television at Marth, who sliced it in half and caused it to miss. The following 22 seconds were filled with DK's angry ranting and Luigi's girly screaming. This was all Marth was able to make out.

"You…this is why…great minds…not enough…so that's why…bastard!...out of my…so there! Do you understand _now_?"

Marth blinked once.

"Okay."

DK calmed down. "Good. Come, Luigi. We must feed our minds with the windows to the world, a.k.a. books!"

He snatched Luigi by one arm and ran away. When he ran away, Marth sighed and sheathed Falchion.

_That shouldn't affect his fighting _that_ much, right?_

That thought quickly shifted to Peach's opposite again.

_One week. If I don't get infected again…_


	15. Just Strong

_Well this took a while. Huh. Don't have too many chapters left._

Marth was eating, finally. He had been doing the opposite thing for a while now, and he needed some recharging. Just one cheeseburger would do fine. And he made the best cheeseburgers in the mansion, rivaling Peach's.

"Ah…Peach…"

Oh, not again. Just eat your damn food.

"Okay, fine. Dream crusher."

Marth continued _eating_ his _burger_, still wondering what the hell Mewtwo was doing.

"She's so pretty…"

_Mewtwo._ His whereabouts remained unknown, which sucked for the mission. The pointless, selfish mission. Marth finished his burger in 7 minutes, and then went off in search of someone un-opposited. Un-oppositized. Un…something.

He began searching for Young Link.

He searched for 7 minutes. After the interval had passed, he heard Young Link's grunts coming from the fitness room. He walked to the room, wondering what he could be doing in there. Well, apparently, Young Link was trying to get some muscle. He was lifting weights.

"36…37…"

The little hero was lifting a little weight. But it looked heavy as he slowly lifted it with his right arm. Marth walked over to him.

"39…ah, 40." Young Link set his weight down slowly. "Good workout."

Marth picked up the weight with little difficulty.

"This thing is only 8.8 grams." He scoffed.

"Hey! I need to start out small if I want to become buff later," Young Link said.

"You're not that buff. Considering your older form. That must mean you eventually either stopped or found something else to do with your life."

"…" Young Link whined. "I wanna be buff…then maybe I can get some more idolization around here."

_Hmm…_

"Do you consider yourself weak?" Marth asked.

"You sound like a guy in an infomercial," the little Link laughed.

"Well?"

"…Only a little."

"Have you tried everything? Exercise? Protein? Boxing?"

"Uh-huh."

"Little buddy…I think I can help you reach your potential. With this." Marth showed Young Link the glowing statue that was accompanied by a heavenly chorus from somewhere. Young Link gasped and his eyes twinkled. Then he looked into the mirror.

Not too much twinkling there.

It took 12 seconds for the effect to begin. And it began with a low growl.

"…Uh…"

Young Link punched Marth right in his chest plate, sending him flying out of the room and into a wall. He watched, his body slightly hurting and stiff, as Young Link picked up one of DK's weights with one arm. He pointed at Marth with the other.

"You! Weakling!"

"Weak?" Marth pried himself out of the wall and limbered himself by stretching. "Who are you calling weak?" He then had to dodge the previously mentioned weight before it smashed his head. "That's the second time…in half an hour…that something heavy's been thrown at me."

"Shut up!" He stomped towards Marth. "Or am I gonna have to make you be quiet?"

"Yeah, I wanna see this."

Young Link grabbed Marth's pinkie and twisted it.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…ah…"

"I can break it like a banana. You gonna be quiet and listen?"

"Okay, okay, ow, okay, ow, ow, ow…" The grip was released. Marth breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, listen up. You wanna be a beefcake like me?"

Marth snickered.

"Well?"

"Not really. I'm fond of my figure."

"Yeah, I bet. With looks like that, you could be my wife."

As mad as this made Marth, he still found it funny and snickered again.

"As I was saying, if you wanna be a beefcake like me, you gotta work at it. You gotta be able to slap your nuts and laugh your ass off! Are you listening?" Young Link yelled.

Marth didn't know whether to respond with a statement or a salute.

"Yeah, sure I am."

"Where was I? Oh, right, the nuts." Young Link slapped himself in his groin and laughed heartily. Then abruptly stopped. "You got a long way to go. First you gotta stop wearing all of that makeup. Then the real workouts can begin. Come back in an hour with appropriate attire."

"Hey wait a-"

"You'll be moving mountains in no time!"

"But-"

"One hour, weakling. One hour."

Marth looked at Young Link like he was crazy. And he was. Then he walked away.

"I'm not coming back."

"Oh, yes you are! If you value your health…"

"I'm beginning to question that value. Bye!"

Young Link power walked towards Marth and turned him around quickly. He held him up by his neck, but didn't strangle him.

"You're dead."

"Not again…" Marth showed Young Link the mirror and reverted him to normal. Then he ran away. Very fast. When Young Link came to, he observed the hole in the wall behind him, and grinned.

"One of these days, _I'll_ be that strong…"

_Yeah, right. Oh wait…_


	16. Dumb Or Daring?

_I'm seriously running out of things to say._

Marth was in his own room, catching his breath and lying in his queen-sized bed. He felt that an ex-prince deserved better, but Master Hand could pluck his whole head off with ease. Or cripple him, also with ease. So he accepted his sub-par bed as such, his bed. But that issue could wait. Mewtwo was still gone somewhere. He needed someone else for his little trinket. And he was running out of people. That made it easier to choose.

"Wonder if Luigi's done with that monkey?" Marth gasped. "I forgot to revert that monkey!"

He rushed to that monkey's "room", which was really several trees, a boom box, and a hammock. There were some magazines in there before, but the intelligent DK must've thrown them out. Speaking of DK, he and Luigi were reading, which explained the loud "SHHHH!" that followed Marth's busting into the room.

"Sorry," Marth whispered.

DK nodded and resumed reading. Luigi looked at Marth. He pointed at DK and made his index finger orbit his ear. The crazy sign. Marth smiled as Luigi also resumed reading.

Marth stood there for about 2 minutes.

"Ok, that's it."

Marth grabbed a book from a pile DK's height and started reading beside DK. The book was an English-Spanish-French-Japanese-Yoshi-Pokemon-Portuguese Dictionary. It was _very_ heavy. Marth turned to page 7,865, the beginning of the Yoshi section. He read to himself:

"_All Yoshi can speak Yoshi. Only incredibly talented Yoshi manage to speak any other language. (Treasure them.) The real trick to learning how to speak Yoshi is remembering 2 simple phrases. The first is "Yoshi". How many times this is said and the tone of how they are said determines what you mean. The second phrase is "Ah wah". There are several variations of this phrase, and each one will be- screw this!"_

Marth whacked DK with his 20,649 page book, knocking him out instantly. Luigi clapped and gave Marth a thumbs-up. Then he caught the statue, and…well…duh.

"Hmm…"

Marth closely observed Luigi. What was his true personality?

"You!"

Luigi pointed at Marth. He looked angry.

"What?"

"Drop your pants."

"…What?"

Luigi pinned Marth against the wall and attempted to remove Marth's pants. But…the button was so tight…and he quickly forgot what he was doing. So he punched himself in the face.

Marth snickered. Luigi, for some reason, did the same.

"This doesn't make sense."

Luigi stood up and rubbed his cheek.

"Okay. Now you. I dare you to punch yourself in the face."

"No."

"Come on, you wuss!"

"No."

"Pansy-ass."

"…"

"…I dare you to jump off the roof."

"Oh, just shut up." Marth walked away. Luigi followed after him as if he was a child that wasn't paying attention and almost got left behind.

"Fine. I'll do it. Watch."

"Let me get some chips."

Outside

"Sure you can go through this conscious?" Marth yelled up to Luigi, 64 feet up.

"Hell yeah! Hold my pants!" Luigi threw his pants down at Marth. Who didn't catch them. They fell into a bush. "Ha! Hey world! You have a new sunrise now!" He mooned the sky. Marth didn't bother looking at this dumbass.

"Jump you idiot!"

Luigi farted.

"You're not even pointing west!" He ate some chips.

"Shows how much you know! The sun rises in the Southeast, which is why those mountains…in that place…are so cold."

Marth sighed. "Pull your (beep) underwear up!"

"Hang on!" Luigi bent down. And began to fall, still underwear-less. Actually, his underwear was what hooked his ankles and wrists together. Luigi was at risk of falling on his butt. Marth, however, went back inside and sat on the couch, ignoring the thud and Luigi's painful, agonizing screams afterwards until he passed out.

"Where the hell is Mewtwo?"

_Good question._


	17. Just Plain Hate

_New chapter this be. Read you do. Shut up I should? Okay…_

Marth continued to wait for Mewtwo to show up. He was still in the living room, and Luigi had passed out half an hour ago. There was nothing on TV, as usual, so Marth decided to see who hadn't been a part of his little venture. Besides Mewtwo, the free ones were Fox, the Ice Climbers, Pichu, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Roy, Ness, Dr. Mario…and himself.

"Hmm…let's try the Ice Climbers. Both of them."

He already knew where they were. The roof.

On The Roof

The Ice Climbers had just recently discovered Luigi's accident, and were having a good laugh about it. Before that, they were just enjoying the height and smashing pigeons with their mallets.

"Luigi, what were you thinking?" Nana called out, not noticing that Luigi was still unconscious.

"Somebody should go put his overalls back on," suggested Popo. Then he remembered how funny Luigi looked. "Oh, forget it."

Marth had just appeared on the roof.

"Marth! Hey! Did you see Luigi?" asked Nana.

"Yeah. I did. Unfortunately, I saw everything…Can I ask you two something?"

"What?" said Popo.

"How did you get on the roof?"

"…How did _you_ get on the roof?" both asked.

Marth thought for a few moments. "…Look what I got!" He showed the two the statue. The Ice Climbers observed it in intrigue.

"What does it do?" asked Popo, poking it.

"If you look into the mirror, it will show you your true self." Marth thought about what he said.

_Wow. I actually told the truth this time._

"I didn't have to trick these guys!"

"What are you talking about?" the Ice Climbers said.

"Oh, great, I did it again- just look."

They did. Both of them looked into the mirror at the same time. Both of them dropped their mallets at the same time. Both attained nothing at the same time.

_Hmm…_

Both of them regained composure…at the same time. Then Popo slapped Nana incredibly hard (but the mittens minimized the pain).

"What did I say about looking at me?"

Nana grabbed Popo's hood and forcibly pulled it down, causing Popo to fall.

"You think I give a shit what you tell me?"

Popo got up and punched Nana in the stomach.

"Bitch, you better!"

Nana slowly got up, grabbed her mallet, and bashed Popo's foot with it.

"Why don't you make me, mother(beep)?"

"Shut the (beep) up!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

Marth sighed.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

Marth left.

"YES!"

"NO!"

"(beep)!"

"(beep)!"

Marth came back, grabbed the statue, and left.

"YES!"

"NO!"

"SHUT UP!"

"NO!"

Luigi finally woke up and joined in.

"WHY DON"T YOU BOTH SHUT UP!"

"MIND YOUR (beep) BUSINESS!"

"SCREW YOU!" Luigi was hit in the head with a mallet and knocked out.

"I HATE YOU!"

"I HATE YOU MORE!"

"I hate them both…" Marth said from the living room couch.

"GO AWAY!"

"WITH PLEASURE!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

"…FINE!"

"FINE!"

The Ice Climbers stormed away from each other. Both forgot that they were on the roof, so they both fell off.

…_Yep…_


	18. Sadness & Troublemaking

_Sorry for the wait. Here's the next opposite._

Marth flipped through various television channels, wondering with all of his might exactly why he returned to the living room, of all places. He also wondered if the Ice Climbers broke any bones from their fall 10 minutes ago. Then he started wondering what was for dinner. After that he wondered when Luigi would come back inside. His flooded mind quickly switched back to dinner.

"It's not leftover night, is it? No, that's on Friday. And we had ziti yesterday; we should get something beefy today. Like…meatloaf, or Sloppy Joes. I hope its Sloppy Joes. Those things are awesome…"

As he stared at the cola commercial, he noticed two things. First, he had been daydreaming about food for longer than usual. Second, he wanted to see Pikachu's opposite.

"Yeah, that little rodent is…I'm not even-"

His little self-chat was interrupted by an incredibly loud whirring accompanied by a kind of grinding sound. They came from the kitchen. Marth turned off the TV, vowed not to return to the couch for the rest of the day, and, once in the kitchen, saw Pikachu and Pichu making fruit smoothies with a blender powered by Pikachu. (He liked conserving energy that wasn't his own, for some reason. Also, the plug was out of his view.)

"Think it'll taste good? Huh?" asked an excited Pichu.

"I _really_ hope so. All of these fruits are good by themselves, so they should taste good iced and blended, right?" said Pikachu.

"Yeah, but I keep thinking we're forgetting something. Shouldn't we have peeled the fruits first?"

Pikachu thought for a moment.

"Like the banana?"

Pikachu thought for a moment.

"And the orange?"

Pikachu thought for a moment. Pichu sighed as his excitement melted into regret.

"Excuse me?"

Pikachu stopped powering the blender to respond to Marth. "Hey Marth! What's going on?"

"Too much."

"Hey, what's that? Huh?" Pichu asked, pointing to the bizarre statue Marth cradled.

"This? It's…I don't know. I found it when we were cleaning up."

_Damn, another lie. But I _did_ find it._

"Can we see?" both rodents asked simultaneously.

"Yeah, sure. You both can see."

And they both did see. They both looked into the mirror, and like the Ice Climbers before them, attained nothing. The two wobbled a bit before the effect came into…effect.

Pichu burst into tears, while Pikachu stared on.

"What the hell are you crying for?" asked Pikachu.

"EVERYTHING SUCKS!" Pichu sobbed. Pikachu slapped Pichu with a shock.

"STOP CRYING!"

"I CAN'T! I'M TOO (beep)IN' SAD!"

Pikachu slapped him again. "Control yourself, fool!"

Marth watched in light amusement. Pichu's crying devolved into watery eyes and sniffling. Pikachu glared at Marth.

"What?"

"What?"

"I said what."

"So did I."

"Tryin' to start somethin'?"

"…No…"

"That's what I thought. Don't look at me."

Marth continued looking at Pikachu.

"I _said_ turn away."

"Make me."

Pikachu got ready to launch a Thunder Wave, but Marth pinned Pikachu to the fridge with the blunt side of his blade. Pichu started crying again.

"WHY MUST THIS WORLD BE SO VIOLENT? WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?"

"SHUT UP!" Marth and Pikachu yelled. Pichu did the opposite of what he was told. Marth sighed in frustration.

"I can't take much more of this…"

Pikachu tried moving around, but was pinned tight by his neck, and if he moved the wrong way, he would slit it by accident.

"You punk mother(beep)er! Put me down!"

"You be quiet too!" Marth bashed Pikachu's head against the chrome refrigerator, knocking him out. He quickly walked over to the wailing mini-rat.

"No! I don't wanna die! I DON"T-"

Marth knocked him out with the blunt side of his blade, and sheathed it. Mario rushed into the room.

"Where'd all that crying come from?"

"Pichu stubbed his toes again."

"Oh, okay." Mario walked away and yelled "He stubbed his toes again!". Several sighs of relief came from upstairs. Marth sighed and returned to the living room couch. He almost sat down.

"Oh, right, the vow! All right then, let me look for Fox…"

_Well, now you know who's next…_


	19. A Loser's Short Quest for Coolness

…_I'm just gonna get to it…_

Marth walked down the basement steps to where Fox was located. The target room was, obviously, in the basement of the mansion, where, obviously, no one (important/intelligent) could be shot. Fox liked practicing with his trusty Blaster whenever possible. Marth remembered that after Fox came back from Sauria, he just went up to his room and didn't come out for almost 4 months. He ate and slept and (probably) used the bathroom, but that's it.

The blue-haired guy with the statue opened the thick, lead door leading to an all white room with many, many, many different targets. A lot of them were cardboard cutouts of Wolf O'Donnell, which he got off the Internet. Some were actual targets. A few were cutouts of Pikachu.

Fox was shooting moving Wolf heads 150 meters away (yes, the room was big). Marth watched for several minutes in silence. Fox was pretty proud of himself and his long-range skills.

"Yeah! Right between the eyes! Can't get away from the Fox! Oh, tryin' to hide behind a wall? Not happening!" Blast. "All up in your nose! Wolfens suck! What is a Wolfen anyway? Wait, don't tell me. I'll open your brain and see what's inside!" He picked up a missile launcher.

"Jeez, Fox, chill out."

Fox jumped. He didn't manage to hear the loud door close. "Why didn't you tell me you came in?"

"…You have problems."

"You want some of me?" Fox pointed the missile launcher at Marth's dome. Marth quickly sliced it in half.

"What do you want, Marth?"

"Just wanted to show you this." Marth showed his empty right hand to Fox.

"What, this old thing?" Fox already obtained the statue without anyone noticing. Including me.

"…Yeah, that old thing."

Fox soon looked directly into that mirror Marth loved so much. He dropped the half of the missile launcher he was still grasping, and collapsed completely. Marth just watched for the entire 8 seconds it took.

Fox stood up observed the moving Wolf heads 150 meters away.

"I could _never_ shoot that from here. I suck too much."

Marth still watched. Fox looked at Marth.

"Um…so…you have a sword."

"Yeah. Falchion is one of the greatest blades ever known."

"Cool…I wish I could be as cool as you."

_Yeah, he's changed._

"Can you teach me to be cool and not a total loser?"

"Yeah, he's really changed."

"Huh?"

"…What do you want to learn?"

"I don't know…just…cool stuff."

"Follow me. This is gonna rule."

"Huh?"

Upstairs

"In order to be cool, you MUST be able to beat up Kirby."

Kirby's Room

"Who's Kirby?"

Marth pointed to the pink ball sleeping in his bed.

"But he's sleeping."

"So?"

"That'd be rude to wake him up just to beat him up."

"No it wouldn't. It'd be cool."

"Are you sure…?"

"Does Falchion lie?"

Fox stared at the sword in awe. "All right, I'll do it." Fox tapped Kirby on the head. He didn't wake up. He started poking him hard, to no avail. He shot him. Nothing. Then he did something very simple.

He pulled the sheets off him. Kirby turned over.

"What?" he mumbled through his pillow.

"I'm kind of on a quest to be cool."

"So?"

"So…I have to beat you up."

"…What?"

Fox kicked Kirby into the wall. Upon contact, Kirby bounced off the wall and kicked Fox right in the head. He fell to the floor dazed. Marth looked at the downed vulpine.

"Tsk tsk. Guess coolness isn't in your nature…cause you got knocked the hell out."

Fox became unconscious. Kirby got off of Fox, looked at Marth, looked at the statue, looked at Fox, looked at the statue, looked at Marth, looked at Fox, looked at his bed, and looked at Marth. Then he crawled back into bed and went back to sleep.

Marth wiped his forehead and sighed.

"Get out," mumbled Kirby. Marth left Kirby's room, dragging Fox with him. Luckily, Link was passing by.

"Drop this off please." Marth handed Link Fox's foot. Link grabbed it, sighed wearily, and turned back around.

"Thanks plenty. Now who should I do?"

_Hmm…hmm…I wonder…yeah, this one was short…_


	20. Just Retarded

_At least 3 chapters left…and then Australia will collide with Asia. Then Australians will become Asians, and the world will rejoice. Or something like that._

Jigglypuff. Ness. Roy. Dr. Mario. And that loser Mewtwo. How long could this continue? Just 5 left. Keeping this little venture discreet was tiring, nerve-racking, thrilling, and, on occasion, hilarious. And it also induced hunger, which was why Marth was now eating some chicken noodle soup in the dining room.

"Seriously, what the hell is Mewtwo doing?"

Pichu and Pikachu were still in the kitchen, unconscious. No one cared.

"I'll try Ness after this soup." Marth took a bite of soup and collected his thoughts, utilizing his solitude.

_Ah, that Peach thing was fun… _

After The Soup…

"That was some good soup."

Marth now walked upstairs to the source of those video game sounds. Ness had to be there. Not only was he there, Roy was there as well. They were playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!! and having a good time. No, strike that.

Ness was having a good time.

"Where'd that Spiny Shell come from? I wasn't even in first!"

"You were in first when it arrived…"

"Yeah, whatever."

They were racing at Baby Park, the mayhem capital of Mario Kart, in a Grand Prix. Roy was losing by 14 points. Ness already had 20. Yeah, Roy sucked.

"Roy, you suck."

"Not now!" Roy got hit by 4 Green Shells and Bowser's Shell in succession. He was now in 8th place, 2 laps behind everyone else. Meaning that he was on the 5th lap.

Roy melted his controller with his sword, flipped Ness off, and stomped away. Ness smiled and turned off the Cube.

"He _really_ needs to learn how to drift…"

Marth snickered.

"Marth, you wanna give it a go?"

"No, that's okay."

"Hey, what's that there?" Ness pointed at our beloved statue. Marth snickered again.

"A mirror."

Ness quickly snatched it. "Let me see if I have any pimples, so Peach'll leave me alone." He looked at himself and fell to the floor instantly. His eyes were wide open and empty, and his body was motionless. For 6 seconds. When the grace period ended…

"Huh?"

Ness stood up slowly and stared at the Cube on the floor.

"Triangle…"

"It's a cube."

"…Kee-yoob?"

"Yeah."

Ness stepped on it, shattering it. "CUBE!" Ness ran into the television headfirst and stayed there for a little while. "BIG CUBE!"

Marth was speechless. Ness pried his head from the TV and rushed out the room, laughing like an idiot and drooling. Marth followed him to the stairs.

"Oooooooooooooh…" Ness stared at the steps for a few seconds, then fell down them on purpose. He laughed once, loudly, when he reached the bottom. Marth snickered.

"I fell."

"Hey, you said a sentence!"

Ness tilted his head like a dog. "Uh?"

Marth sighed and continued following him. Ness ran to a closet door and grabbed the doorknob. Then he attempted to eat it. Marth only watched his futile, painful attempts. Ness didn't know it hurt, but he kept trying. Then he stopped, punched the doorknob in, and cried.

"I wanna EAT IT!"

"Calm down, simple child."

Ness continued crying. "You're mean!"

"How am I mean?"

"You look like a girly girl, and you smell!"

Marth had no comment.

"Get out. I go to bed now."

Ness laid on the floor, eyes open, snoring, pretending to sleep. "Get in the car!"

Marth knocked him out for real and laughed a bit. "Guess he really is intelligent. Where exactly did Roy go? He seemed rather hotheaded back there."

_Eh. I've written shorter._


	21. Just Eccentric

_I would've done this yesterday, but it wasn't here, and I had to redo it. But all is calm now…_

Not too many left now. After Roy, only Jigglypuff, Dr. Mario, and the main event would be the last victims.

Speaking of victimization, Marth was on his way to Peach's room, where Roy was located. That was where he vented. For some unknown reason, enigmatic even to Peach herself, the room instilled a feeling of euphoria in anyone (besides her) that stayed in it for an extended period of time, usually around half an hour. They also gained a significant appetite increase. It was strange, and Roy took advantage of it.

Marth observed Roy take a deep breath. He plopped on the bed, on his back, sighed, and smiled. His demeanor instantly dissipated when he noticed Marth staring at him. He sat up.

"What do you want?" he asked hastily.

"Feeling angry?" Marth asked sincerely.

"Now that you're here."

"I have something that'll make you feel great. Won't take but 4 seconds."

"Can you get out of my room please?" Peach said, under the covers.

"Really?" Roy ignored. Peach sighed and got of bed.

"No lie."

Roy thought about it briefly while Peach went to get the Super Soaker.

"Okay. Let me see what you have," Roy agreed. Marth walked up to him.

"Just look."

Indeed Roy did look. Into the mirror. Into the opposite of himself. Like Marth said, it took 4 seconds for the transformation to complete. And once it did-

"HI!" Roy shouted, giving Marth a big hug. Marth positioned himself so he could breathe, and chuckled. They both could hear rapid pumping behind them, and Marth tried to get out of the hug, but was too damn weak.

"Doesn't today just make you wanna jump for joy?" Roy asked, still hugging Marth.

"It would if I could move."

"Last warning, you two."

Marth and Roy looked at Peach, who was holding a Monster XL on her right shoulder. It's a water bazooka (that's real, and that I don't own, sadly).

"Get out."

Roy stopped hugging Marth and went to hug Peach.

"Hug me!"

Peach pointed the bazooka directly at Roy's face and fired. Marth dodged him as he flew out the room. Peach pumped some more.

"Going, going…" Marth muttered, quickly leaving the room. Roy coughed up about a gallon of water and sprung up, grinning.

"That was great!"

"…"

"Wanna go get a drink?"

"What kind of drink?" Marth asked curiously.

"Something super mega sweet!"

4 minutes later

Roy was fixing up a drink of his own creation: cola mixed with sugar, syrup, children's cough medicine, and chocolate syrup. It was currently being blended. Roy was literally bouncing with anticipation, whilst Marth felt a little nauseous and even a little fearful.

_Can my brain survive this combination?_

The blender stopped. Roy quickly got two glasses and poured his creation into both of them. He handed one to Marth and kept the other. He sniffed it and giggled. Marth was at a loss for words.

"Ooh, I just love this drink! It'll definitely get your ass ticking!"

"I am going to die," Marth said darkly.

"Oh, don't be so doubtful! Come on." Roy stood up on the table. "A toast to feeling good!"

Marth didn't move a muscle. Roy performed the toast himself and took a huge swig of his drink, and began giggling. Marth slowly inched his drink to his lips. He placed the very tip of his tongue on it, and immediately ran to the garbage to throw up, while Roy ran around the room in complete circles.

A minute later, Roy was dancing on the ceiling with a distraught, almost-petrified Zelda and Kirby, who almost enjoyed his new attitude and ceiling-clinging skills. Marth was done throwing up, and had a slight headache. He looked up at Roy and tried to think of where that baseball bat went.

3 minutes later, Marth aimed the bat for Roy's head. He was now break dancing on the wall with Kirby. He was also spinning on his head, which made the shot easier. He threw it. It connected, and Roy passed out on the wall. Kirby continued to break dance, as he knew that victory would indeed be his.

"Finally. Now off to find Dr. Mario. Hopefully he has an aspirin for me…"

_There you have it. Next is the Doc. See you then._


	22. Just Zany

_This took half of forever (a.k.a. close to a month) to start writing. It's almost done though, so I feel happy. It had a good run. Like 2 chapters left after this one. Oh. This is the first chapter to exceed 1,000 words. Have fun.  
_

Marth approached the doctor's office, which was right next to Mario's room. It doubled as a room and as an office, and it really delivered on the latter role. It was big, air-conditioned, just bright enough to be tolerable, had a huge bowl of lollipops on a coffee table surrounded by 3 or 4 cushioned seats, a suspended TV in the left corner (which was turned off), Dr. Mario's large, pine desk (which was neatly decorated), and a king-sized bed in the back. It also had a hot plate and a mini-freezer, like the ones in hotel rooms.

Marth admired it for its neatness, and admired it even more for its occupation. The doctor was in.

"Hello Marth. Are you here for a checkup? Do you have an appointment? Or…" Dr. Mario held a megavitamin. "Do you just want to feel better?"

"As nice as that sounds, I'll pass," Marth said, jacking several of the Doc's lollipops. He walked to the mini-freezer, opened it, and looked back at the Doc, who stared blankly at him. Marth jacked a cola and popped it open.

"So what do you want?" Dr. Mario asked, half-concerned, half-pissed.

"There's a very- hold on." Marth sipped his cola. "There's a very- ooh, gum."

Dr. Mario sighed annoyedly. Marth took 3 of the Doc's 4 remaining sticks of gum off his desk.

"There's a very philosophical question I'm about to ask you."

"Fire away…"

"Who are you?"

"…I still don't know…"

Neither said anything for close to a minute.

"I mean, of course I know that I'm the head physician of the Mansion, and I'm one of Mario's alter egos, but…I don't know what my goal in life is. I don't know what my destiny is. I basically don't know what you've just done: jack."

"Mmm!" Marth almost lost some of his soda. "Clever! Keep going."

"I never really…I just would love to know exactly what the hell I'm doing here _besides_ fighting and healing, if anything. I feel empty, like the inside of Kirby's stomach. Just…I'm sorry, I've- crap, I did it again." Dr. Mario wiped his eyes with his sterile gloves. They were always sterile. Somehow. "I keep boring people with my severe lack of a fate."

"Yeah, you desperately need to kick the habit." Marth was about to sip some more cola, but Dr. Mario started crying fully. This could work…

"Now, now. I don't need to be hearing all that from you. You're probably the most sensible one in the entire mansion."

"_What does that mean?_" Dr. Mario asked, shortly before he resumed crying. Marth walked over to the Doc and, after he put down some of his jacked stuff, put a hand on his back.

"Pull yourself together, man. Take one of those 'feel-good' pills or something of that nature. You're better than this."

Dr. Mario's crying became more controlled.

"There. Fix yourself in my mirror. You got nothing to worry about…"

Dr. Mario looked at himself in the mirror, and didn't worry about a thing. He also didn't feel a thing either. Eventually, his face met his desk, hard. Marth awaited his opposite to finally be unleashed on an unsuspecting private public. After about a minute, the Doc picked up his head slowly. He had a sticky note attached to his nose, which read "ThAt huRt".

"How'd you-" Marth started.

"How'd I? It's called reality bending, and it's _very_ fun," the Doc said from behind Marth, chewing all 3 of his sticks of gum. Marth was speechless.

"You can't be serious," he said, making sure Dr. Mario stayed in the same spot.

"Sorry, you say something?" Dr. Mario was listening to music on his earphones whilst mopping the ceiling. Marth's jaw went to hell and back.

"It's gonna take me forever to knock this guy out or even get him to look at the mirror again…"

"You mean this mirror?" Dr. Mario was holding the mirror, and still standing on the ceiling.

"Hey! Give that back! If that thing breaks, you'll be in such deep sh-"

Dookie!

"that you probably won't even survi-" Marth noticed what had happened, and dismissed it for the sake of his sanity. "Get down from there!"

"Get down from the floor? You'd need, like, reality-bending powers to do that!" Dr. Mario giggled while Marth sighed. Yeah, he was standing right in front of him. "Speaking of that, what else is there to do in this place?"

"No. Don't you dare torture anyone else in here. Then it's my a-"

Booty!

"on the line."

"Too late." Dr. Mario cocked a slingshot. "I'm going in."

Marth followed him, not knowing whether to be scared out of his mind or excited beyond belief. But he followed him anyway. Dr. Mario walked downstairs, atop the banister, slingshot in hands. Pichu and Pikachu were currently conscious and were watching _Birdo_ on TV. Birdo was the equivalent of Ricki Lake (whom I don't own). Dr. Mario fired a watermelon at Pichu. Pikachu kept watching, but grabbed a little bit of the watermelon.

"Hey, what you guys watching?" Dr. Mario asked, sitting on Pichu.

"Birdo," Pikachu replied. Birdo was talking about Pokemon abuse, and Pikachu, being a Pokemon, was very into it. Apparently, Gary had some…problems back in the day…

Dr. Mario threw a grenade into the television.

"What the hell are you doing?" screamed Pikachu, who was TiVo'ing that (don't own TiVo either, costs too much).

"Hey! What's wrong? Don't like chocolate?"

Marth ducked behind the wonderful, wonderful couch and covered his ears. There was a very squishy explosion. Marth quickly got up from behind there and looked. The TV was gone (no surprise there), and everything in the living room was chocolate-coated. Everything except for Marth.

Dr. Mario licked himself clean. Ew.

"Well, that was enriching. I'm hungry."

"You just…forget it."

Dr. Mario did a Matrix-like backflip all the way to the kitchen. This meant that he was moving pretty slowly. Marth walked to the kitchen and waited for him there. It took him close to 3 minutes, but he made it.

_How do I knock this guy out?_

"What do you have in the way of fried fruit?" the Doc asked.

"…How…?"

"Oh, it's very simple." Dr. Mario grabbed an orange from Hammerspace (don't own that either). He grabbed a frying pan from the same place. He peeled the orange with his eyelashes and put the fire on. After a few seconds, he placed the orange on the frying pan. It sizzled once and became completely fried in less than a second. Dr. Mario bit into it.

"This is some good chicken."

"Okay, that's enough." Marth grabbed the frying pan and repeatedly, rigorously bashed it against the Doc's skull. He fell to the ground, bleeding slightly.

Then he stood up. And laughed at Marth.

"If you wanted fried fruit that bad…the frying pan has to be _on _the stove for it to work. Duh."

Marth strained a scream, grabbed Dr. Mario by both arms, and pinned him to the fridge. He then jacked his fried orange/chicken ball and forced the mirror into his face. Dr. Mario fell asleep for 3 seconds, and then abruptly woke up. He looked around, confused.

"You didn't…take advantage of me, did you?"

"Shut up." Marth took the chicken ball and walked away, leaving Dr. Mario in his confusion. For some reason Marth was too angry to care about, the living room was spotless (yet the TV was still in pieces, and Pichu still had watermelon seeds all over him).

_Only 2 to go…_


	23. Just Conceited With A Heavenly Voice

_Here it is. The next-to-last chapter in my longest (chapter-wise) tale. And when this finishes, I can write a new fic to entertain y'all with._

Marth stomped up the stairs, still pissed at what had just happened with Dr. Mario. He really just wanted to kill him right then and there, but chances were, it would backfire on him somehow. But at least he got out of it.

And there was good news. It was getting very close to dinnertime. And all Smashers had to be in the mansion at dinnertime. After Jigglypuff, only one would remain. That got Marth happy.

When he reached Jigglypuff's door, which was open, and light pink, the stomping faded. He peeked inside, covering his ears in case she decided to sing some spontaneous song. Luckily she didn't. She was sitting by the mirror, humming and combing her puff. He hated that puff, for some irrelevant reason. He just wanted to cut that thing off, throw it on a freeway, watch it get run over several times, set it ablaze, stomp the fire out, slice-n-dice it, and force feed it to her, bit by bit.

_Man, I hate that thing…_

Marth snuck into her room. For some reason, Jigglypuff was in her mirror, but her eyes were closed. This made things much easier. He didn't even really have to talk to her if he got this right. He crept up behind her, silent as can be. She still combed that damned puff. He held the statue to the mirror, right behind her, and looked to the left. He tapped whatever existed of Jigglypuff's shoulder. She immediately stopped humming.

"What is it?"

_Damn, her eyes are still closed._

"Uh, you _really_ messed up your…puff…thing." Marth continued to look away, while Jigglypuff proceeded to observe her puff. She saw it.

No strength.

No feeling.

Nothing.

For about 18 seconds, Jigglypuff was frozen in place. Marth put down the statue when she stopped…well, breathing. Soon, she fell backwards off her stool, on her feet. Marth moved out the way and kept watching. She turned around and looked up at him.

"Excuse me."

Marth moved back several steps in astonishment. She had the most flawless, divine voice he had ever heard in his life. She walked out the room, with Marth still standing there.

Then she started singing. Marth's soul almost melted when he heard her sing. Not only did she now sing in English, but she also did it like no one in any universe anywhere could. It could soften even the hardest of hearts. And she wasn't even trying.

But was this all? Marth had to follow her to find out.

He followed her to the living room, where the two rats where still watching Birdo on a replacement television. They weren't paying any attention to Jigglypuff or Marth until they walked in.

"What are you two watching?" she asked.

Pikachu turned his head at Mach speed, while Pichu swooned.

"It's…it's Birdo…" Pikachu said, trying to catch his breath.

"Not anymore you're not…" she said in singsong, snatching the remote from Pikachu's side. At this point, Marth was covering his ears, and Pikachu was in ecstasy. Jigglypuff was flipping through multiple channels, finding nothing even remotely interesting. Not The Mushroom Kingdom's Next Top Model, not the Yoshi Family Tree, not F-Zero TV, not The Experts' Guide to Bounty Hunting (hosted by Samus & Fox), not anything. She threw the remote at Pichu in dissatisfaction.

"Hey! Was that really necessary?" Pichu cried.

"Great. I'm in one of those places with horrible program selection." Jigglypuff scoffed and got off the couch. Pichu swooned again. "Hey, swordsman guy?"

Marth noticed whom she referred to. "Huh?"

"I'm hungry. Is-"

"Everybody! It's dinnertime!" Mario announced over the many megaphones located around and outside the mansion. Jigglypuff looked at Marth, who smiled rather nervously.

"Okay. Good." Jigglypuff bounced into the dining room. Marth shook his head.

_It can't get too bad, right?

* * *

_

Marth walked the 29 feet to the dining room, which was located right next door to the kitchen. It only made sense. The only people there were Mario, Jigglypuff, Link, Luigi, Ganondorf, Falco, and Mr. Game & Watch, in full 3-D. Surprisingly, no one really cared. They actually found the new Game & Watch quite likable. (Marth had passed Peach and Zelda in the kitchen.)

As of then, Jigglypuff hadn't talked to anyone. She just waited.

"Any of you know where Mewtwo is?" Marth asked, sitting down.

"I know where Mewtwo is," Ganondorf said. Marth looked happy. "But I'm not telling you where he is." Marth looked bewildered. Ganondorf laughed maniacally. Marth ignored him the best he could.

The rats walked in, along with Young Link, Fox, Kirby, and Ness.

_Where the hell is he?_

Marth ignored the chatter (which was mostly about various Smashers not remembering several minutes of their lives) and waited. He wasn't very hungry. He just wanted to see…

"Psst. Marth," Link whispered in Marth's ear.

"What?" Marth asked, turning over to meet Link's outstretched hand. "…Oh, right." Marth paid Link the 15 Smash Coins he promised. "I think I'll need your help when Mewtwo comes, though."

"Oh, you don't need me. You need all _three_ goddesses…"

Marth sighed as Dr. Mario, Roy, Samus, the Ice Climbers, Bowser, DK, Yoshi, and Captain Falcon entered.

_Oh, come on…_

Marth blinked, and Mewtwo was in his seat. He didn't eat much if at all, but he did drink in most instances. But that didn't matter.

Now began the challenge of all challenges. Besides not listening to Jigglypuff.

_The next update will be…it._


	24. Just A Resolution

_What may be my best fic, and definitely my most popular, ends in (insert time it took to read epilogue here). Then I'll start something else. Many thanks to all who read and reviewed, even those that are pretty much gone (either from the Smash section or the site altogether)._

_Well…here it be. Over 3,000 words worth of resolution.  
_

"Dinner is served, everyone!"

There it was. The exclamation that marked the beginning of the end of Marth's brief excursion. It prompted some cheering from a small group of hungry Smashers (Kirby, Yoshi, Mario, Ness, and the Ice Climbers) and some thinking by our little experimenter. How exactly was this going to work?

As Zelda brought in the food using levitation spells, Marth looked down on the statue, which he hid under the table from everybody. Mewtwo was sitting on the left side of the table, in front of Marth, but 3 seats to the right. He wouldn't be there for very long, so he had to make it work, somehow. It usually took half an hour for everyone to finish his or her dinner; it was at that time that free time resumed until "lights out" (which Mewtwo constantly violated, as he almost never slept, as well as Ganondorf, who almost never wanted to sleep). Mewtwo would be nigh unapproachable when dinner was over.

Speaking of dinner, tonight the Smashers were having some nice baked lasagna with cheddar cheese, along with some salad, corn on the cob, and string beans. Drink options? Water, lemonade, iced tea, and cola. That's some good dinner.

After all the food made its way to table, as well as the ice-cold pitchers, everyone began to help themselves, starting with Falco, at the head of the table (he got there first). While he filled his plate, a voice boomed throughout the mansion through the megaphones. Master Hand's voice.

"Attention. Your attention, now. Several announcements need to be made. First off, evening matches are as follows: Young Link vs. Dr. Mario at 7:15 p.m. Great Bay. Fox vs. Pichu at 7:20 p.m. Battlefield. Ganondorf vs. Peach at 7:30 p.m. Yoshi's Island 64. Donkey Kong vs. Ness at 7:40 p.m. Rainbow Cruise. Zelda vs. Jigglypuff at 7:55 p.m. Mute City. And Samus vs. Marth at 8:00 p.m. Icicle Mountain. Second, my finger cramps have ceased, so if you were wondering why there was a first announcement at all, that's the reason. Third, I would like to thank you all for deciding to clean my mansion. I still don't like most of you. I will be stopping by later to see that my mystical items are in good condition. That is all. Resume current activities."

"We were still getting our food…" Yoshi muttered, done filling his plate. There was much silence until the Smashers all had their food, 6 minutes later. Commence dinner talk!

"I woke up with _Samus_. That can't be coincidence. Between this afternoon and now, something happened to us," Zelda told pretty much everyone.

"What was the last thing you guys remember?" Kirby asked. "First Marth came in my room, then before I knew it…" Kirby inhaled an entire cob before continuing. "I was head-first into a TV!"

"Now that you mention it, Marth was the last person I saw before I wound up outside on my bare behind. Right when DK suddenly started acting smart, too…" Luigi drank some of his iced tea.

"I thought Peach broke up with me for Marth!" Mario almost cried, eating a big chunk of lasagna.

Mewtwo swigged some water, and took it all in. Though he didn't necessarily care what was going on, he figured that the knowledge would help him rather than hurt him. Everyone that wasn't him was looking at Mario, then Marth, then Peach, then Marth, then Mario. Then Marth. Then almost Peach, but back to Marth.

"Hmm…" everyone except a select few (Link, Mewtwo, the Ice Climbers, Marth himself) suspiciously stated.

_Thank goodness I saw this coming. I'm so awesome._

"Yeah, it's…something else. I woke up naked."

Everyone looked at Marth. Everyone.

"Yep. Naked…with a crushed robin in my left fist."

Everyone still looked at Marth. Everyone.

"It was disgusting. I don't know what happened."

"Well then, we know it's not his fault," deduced Link, trying to help.

"Yeah…" Fox said, still looking at him. "But now we gotta think about what made him turn into what he was."

Marth silently sighed and gave Link a pound.

"Marth, what's the last thing you remember?" asked Pikachu.

"I think…I was cleaning up. Then everything fell out the closet, and I was putting it back up…that's it."

There was silence for a few seconds. Minus the eating noises.

"Wait. Didn't Master Hand say he was going to check on his 'mystical items' or something like that?" Ness pointed out.

"Yeah, he did," agreed Falcon.

"And if Marth's last whereabouts were the closet, then they should be in there somewhere," suggested Roy.

"It's settled. After dinner, we're going to the closet," decided Samus.

"Great. You guys have fun," Bowser said, sending his whole plateful of food in his mouth. No one paid him any mind. They just continued eating and talking, while Marth continued contemplating. Then Pichu asked the question of doom.

"Popo, why aren't you sitting next to Nana?"

Popo was 6 seats to the right of Marth. Nana was 1 seat to the left, opposite Marth.

"So I don't have to look at her ugly-ass face," Popo mumbled, eating string beans.

"Huh? You say something?" Nana asked.

"I wasn't talking to _you_."

"You were talking _about_ me though, weren't you, you (beep)ing-"

"Hey, hey! We don't need this at the dinner table. Especially when there's pasta involved. Save it for later," Mario said with his mouth full. There was brief silence.

"He started it," Nana uttered.

"It was over. Shut the (beep) up…" Popo said in slight singsong.

"Why don't you go to hell?"

"No, because you'll just end up there later!"

Nana clenched a fist.

"You're such a jerk!"

"Well why don't you do something about it then?" Popo almost stood up. Nana grabbed a corn on the cob.

"I _dare_ you."

Nana accepted the dare and threw the cob at Popo. She missed and hit Roy instead, who was sitting next to him.

"…If that happens again, somebody's getting hurt," he warned.

"Sorry, I meant to hit that little (beep) (beep) next to you."

"Bitch, drop it!" Popo stood up. "Just leave it alone!"

"…Apologize."

"What, for you being a total (beep)tard?"

"Apologize, and I'll leave you alone. And say it like ya mean it!"

"C'mon, just apologize so we can eat in peace. Please," begged Young Link, almost done eating.

"Whatever happened to us didn't get resolved in them, I guess. And Mr. Game & Watch, but he turned out fun," said Yoshi, patting him on the back. Mr. Game & Watch punched him in his nose. They shared a good laugh about it. (Note: This was the first time Mr. Game & Watch had eaten food in full 3D, so he was in a particularly good mood.)

"I'm not apologizing, just tell her to leave me the (beep) alone for 2 minutes," Popo said.

"Nana…" Falcon said, "you heard him. Leave him alone and he won't bother you in return…"

"Okay, I'll leave him alone," Nana said, calming down instantaneously.

There was brief silence.

"Right after I-"

With that, Nana threw her entire plate, which contained some lasagna and some salad, at Popo. He was struck on the dome, as his head was bowed when he ate some more food. It hurt little due to the hood, but he (and several others) were considerably messy, and ticked off. The plate didn't break upon impact, so Popo picked it up. He stood on the table, mallet in one hand and plate in the other, and ran toward Nana. He threw the plate right before tackling her to the ground. The plate broke. Almost everyone attempted to break it up.

By almost everyone, I meant Peach, Zelda, the Mario Brothers, Pichu, and Roy. Everyone else got involved watching, and most got up to see. Some cheered for them (mostly for Popo; they felt she had it coming). Marth decided that now was a good a time as any, and snuck under the table. Mewtwo started to sip more of his water. But he felt something wasn't right. Ignoring the fight and the (beep)s, Mewtwo looked at Marth's seat, which was naturally empty. He didn't care what had happened with the Smashers before, nor did he care that it was all Marth's fault. But if it involved him…well, let's say he wouldn't go down like no punk.

Go down he did. Like a punk he did not.

When Mewtwo looked down, the statue was in his face. He felt his very self dissipate when he saw his reflection. His eyes glowed blue in an attempt to retain his place in the world. Marth knew this wouldn't take 2 seconds, but he was still in a hurry. The fight couldn't last forever, as funny as it was.

The statue started to shine, which worried Marth. It also started to shake, which worried Marth more. As time passed, it shook more violently, and became harder and harder to keep a hold of. In 8 seconds, Mewtwo gained nothing. The statue stopped shaking, but the mirror cracked (he didn't look to check, but he definitely heard it). When that happened, the Ice Climbers stopped fighting, and Marth quickly returned to his seat, broken statue in hand.

"Wait." Popo quickly got up and let go of Nana's hair. "What just happened?"

"Something came over us. All of us. And it made you guys beat the crap out of each other! It was awesome!" exclaimed Ness.

"OH MY GOD!" Popo said, helping a slightly bleeding Nana off the floor. "I'm so sorry…"

"Uh, Popo…?" Nana knew nothing except that she was really dazed.

Everyone felt themselves lift off the ground. They knew who it was.

"Mewtwo, what are you doing?" asked Peach.

Everyone started clustering together. They could feel a pressure around them.

"_I love you guys! So much!_" Mewtwo was hugging them all with his mind.

"Great, it happened to him too," Falco said.

"And so suddenly, too," added Marth, faking surprise. Everyone suddenly fell to the floor.

"_I mean it! I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much!_" Mewtwo extended his arms as far as he was able, weirding multiple people out.

"He may be strange, but at least he's nice!" Pichu said, hugging Mewtwo's leg.

"_Aww…_" Mewtwo said…smiling.

"Okay, that's enough. Screw dinner, I'm gonna watch TV," Bowser said, walking away.

"Me too. There really isn't a dinner anymore anyway," said Ganondorf, following Bowser.

"_Anyone else wanna real hug?_" asked Mewtwo.

"No, that's okay," almost everyone said.

"Oh, why not? I'll hug him," (normal voiced) Jigglypuff said, going over to hug Mewtwo's other leg.

"_That's what I'm talkin' about! Bring on the love!_" Mewtwo exclaimed.

Marth really tried not to laugh. It was difficult, and several "ha's" spontaneously released themselves, one by one.

"Excuse me."

Marth ran away. He ran all the way to the closet, suppressing laughter. He placed the statue in the closet quickly but carefully, in all its cracked glory, and slammed the door. Then he began cracking up. It was a success! He had seen, with minimal trouble, the polar opposites of every fellow Smasher in the mansion. And the only ones who had any idea who it was were either an ally or not of this world. At least until Master Hand showed up, but he wasn't gonna be around for that. For an authentic reason.

"Bathroom break!"

**xxx**

15 minutes later, at the closet

"Inverstatue."

Master Hand had arrived, staring at his creation.

"Inver-what?" asked Peach.

"You heard me. It was an experimental creation of mine. Have any of you ever wondered…whenever you look in the mirror…is it more than a reflection? Is there a world in there?"

The large group shook their heads. Bowser and Ganondorf were still watching TV, and Marth was still in the bathroom. Also, Mewtwo was still reversed, and hugging random people.

"I did. And the Inverstatue is the result of my wondering. I infused a small mirror with highly powerful multi-dimensional magic, and discovered what I call the Inverse. There, everything was different. By different, I mean the opposite. As an example, Inverse Master Hand is black and acts like my alter ego Crazy, and vice versa."

"…Wait, vice versa meaning Inverse Crazy Hand is black and acts like you?" asked Roy.

"You got the gist of it. This particular statue serves as a limited portal. You can't just stroll into Inverse and then leave when you feel ready. When one looks at the portal, or 'the mirror', their Inverse counterpart switches completely with the 'real deal'. Neither person remembers the switch, which is why none of you can remember anything prior to it. When it cracked, the currently switched - the Ice Climbers and Jigglypuff - immediately returned to their own dimensions."

"I like your nose," Mewtwo said, stroking Yoshi's nose.

"What about him?" asked Yoshi, trying not to like it.

"There are two ways to get him back to normal without permanently screwing him up. The first way is for me to create another portal to Inverse and force him to look at it. The second way is to render him unconscious. The Inverse counterpart will head back to where it should be, for reasons I don't fully understand."

"Can I knock him out now?" asked Nana (whom Mewtwo had so generously healed).

"Knock yourself out," Master Hand replied.

"…That was a mean pun…"

Nana whacked Mewtwo in the head with her mallet. He fell to the floor, KO'd.

"Apparently, when someone attempted to reverse Mewtwo, he fought it furiously, and ended up cracking the portal in the process. He'll be fine when he wakes up. Mad at whoever did this to him, but okay nonetheless."

"Quick question. Why the kid?" Falcon asked.

"I honestly don't know. I couldn't think of a symbol for the dimension, so I came up with that. Anyway, since it's broken, it poses no threat, so I'll just leave it in there. Consider those lost minutes…hours…whichever, of your lives the most treasured."

With that, Master Hand left the mansion, taking most of the calm aura with him.

"Who's taking Mewtwo up to his room?" asked Kirby.

Everyone left as quickly as they could. DK was the last one remaining.

"Yeah. Figures." He picked Mewtwo up by his tail, carried him all the way upstairs to his room, and threw him on his bed.

**xxx**

Later that evening…

Marth was celebrating his little experimental success earlier with a little field stroll. It was beautiful night for a stroll, it was. He was on his way out of his room, and had just turned off his light. He blinked, and Mewtwo was right in front of him, clearly angry.

"Whoa! Startling."

Mewtwo choked him and lifted him off the ground. The two floated back into his room, door closing. Marth was a bit frightened at this point, as Mewtwo tended to glow in the dark.

"_You took away some of my life, and made me do degrading things against my will._"

"How did you find that out-ack!"

"_Now it is your turn!_"

Mewtwo's eyes glowed bright blue. Marth slowly went into a deep sleep. He was placed gently on his bed, and immediately afterwards, Mewtwo disappeared.

**xxx**

The next morning…

"Hey! This milk is too white! Get me some more!" Ganondorf yelled from the dining room.

"Okay, I'll get you some more sir! Mewtwo, I hate you!"

Ganondorf chuckled. Marth came out of the kitchen in a complete maid outfit (which he unwillingly bought himself) with a new glass of milk. Peach giggled at his cute outfit. Zelda was incredibly satisfied.

"Here's your new milk, Your Highness-oh I really hate this." Marth gave Ganondorf his new milk. The whiteness level did diminish significantly. He drank it, and was a bit satisfied.

"Not bad, slave. But my boots are really dirty." Ganondorf slapped Marth to the ground.

"Right away, sir!" Marth proceeded to spit shine his boots, crying a little. Bowser walked by and looked at Marth.

"I knew it" was all he said. Marth cried a little more.

"Serves you right for treating us like guinea pigs," said Zelda.

Mewtwo appeared in the dining room.

"_Are you all enjoying your new plaything?_"

"Very much, Mewtwo! Thanks!" Peach said.

"Any idea when it'll be enough?" asked Zelda, chuckling.

"_2 weeks should do it._"

Marth cried a little more, then continued the spit shining. Mewtwo disappeared.

"Hey Marth!" DK said, entering the dining room. "The toilet clogged again. Real mess up there. Get on it, will ya?"

"As soon as I'm done! This sucks!"

"Marth, my punching bag broke again," Falcon said from the kitchen.

"I'll replace it when I'm done with the toilet!"

"Yes, you will." Falcon said. Everyone in the vicinity that wasn't Marth laughed heartily. Then Ganondorf slapped Marth in the back of the head, pretty hard.

"I never said stop!"

"Sorry!"

The laughter/crying continued.

**The end.**

_Well, there it is. Marth's opposite remained a mystery, yet Mewtwo got his sweet revenge, as did everyone else. Inverstatue broke, and all is well with the universe._

_Now to get to work on that new fic. (There weren't any rulers because they weren't working. I used razzkat's method.)  
_


End file.
